Holiday traditions that really matter

The holidays are here, and so is the pressure to make everything magical, memorable and Instagram-worthy. But what if we told you the best way to celebrate might be to not keep up with the Joneses? 

We asked Children's Mercy families to share family holiday traditions that keep them grounded during the season, and their answers are full of warmth, wisdom and a whole lot of real-life joy. 

Slow down, not speed up 

Hayley shared that in her house, December is all about slowing down. With 2 young kids, the excitement is already built in. Instead of chasing trends or the latest toys, her family focuses on small traditions like baking, driving around to see Christmas lights and watching movies in pajamas. “The kids light up over those moments far more than anything that comes in wrapping paper,” she said. And honestly, same. 

Celebrate your own rhythm 

Kirsten’s family spent one holiday season in treatment for her son’s bone marrow transplant. She reminds us that when you’re parenting a medically complex child, your path is beautifully different — and that difference deserves to be honored, not compared. 

Her advice? 

• Celebrate the small wins 
• Create sensory-friendly traditions 
• Adapt holidays to fit your needs 
• Honor your child’s pace 
• Connect with others who understand 

“You are not meant to keep up with the Joneses,” Kirsten said. “Your family’s story is defined by courage, connection and care.” 

Say no and mean it 

Kellye knows the holidays can be overwhelming — even for teens. Her family has learned the power of saying “no.” If an event isn’t essential and someone is not up for it, they skip it. Sometimes that means staying home together, and sometimes it means letting the kids recharge while the adults go solo. “We’re just doing what works best for our family, and that’s made all the difference.” 

Make your own kind of merry 

Melissa’s family keeps things fun and simple: 

• Pajama drives to look at holiday lights 
• Movie and game days at home 
• Adopting a family through their church 
• Lighting advent candles during dinner 

These holiday traditions are low-pressure and high impact. 

Boundaries are a gift, too 

Susana said COVID helped her family set healthier boundaries. With a medically complex child, they now keep celebrations small and intentional. “We celebrate how we want to without any pressure from others,” she said. And that includes giving gifts when and how it works best for their family. 

So, this season, take a deep breath and let go of the comparisons. Whether your holidays are quiet, chaotic or somewhere in between, they’re yours—and that’s what makes them special.