What parents should know: Giving your child a cell phone

Many parents wonder when the right time is to give your child a cell phone. There isn’t one perfect answer, but there are things you can think about to help make the best choice for your family. 

What age is best? 

Most experts say age 14 is a good time for kids to get their first smartphone. Around this age, teens start to understand consequences and can handle more responsibility. But age isn’t the only thing that matters. Some 14 year olds may not be ready yet. 

Before giving your child a phone, ask yourself: 

• Do they handle responsibility well? 
• Why do they want a phone? Is it for safety or to connect with friends? 
• Do they follow rules and respect boundaries? 
• Are they open to being held accountable? 

If your main concern is safety, you might want to start with a basic flip phone. These phones let kids call and text without access to the internet or social media. 

What are the safety risks? 

Phones can be helpful, but they also come with risks. Here are some things to watch out for: 

• Screen addiction: Too much screen time can hurt attention span. 
• Inappropriate content: Kids may see things like violence, pornography or harmful ideas. 
• Cyberbullying and peer pressure: These can affect mental health and self-esteem. 
• Social media: It can make kids feel left out or like they aren’t good enough. 
• Mental health: Too much phone use can lead to anxiety and depression. 

Without good guidance, these risks can cause serious harm. 

How phones affect sleep and mental health 

Studies show using phones too much can lead to poor sleep and mental health problems. Blue light from screens makes it harder to fall asleep. Also, being online too much can lower self-esteem and increase stress. 

Signs your child might be ready 

Here are some signs your child may be ready for a phone: 

• They use other devices responsibly. 
• They accept consequences and learn from mistakes. 
• They understand and follow family rules. 
• They have healthy self-esteem and can handle emotions. 
• They can explain why they want a phone and think about the pros and cons. 

You can also try tools like AT&T’s Phone Readiness Quiz to help decide. 

How parental controls can help 

Parental controls can block certain content, limit screen time and help you see what your child is doing online. But no app does everything. Choose tools based on what matters most to you, like texting safety or internet use. 

Even with controls, kids need to talk with parents about what they see online. Teens still need help understanding things that are confusing or upsetting. Resources like ScreenSanity offer helpful guides for families. 

How to talk to your child about phone use 

Talking about phones doesn’t have to be scary. Here are some tips: 

• Be curious, and use a calm and respectful tone. 
• Talk about both the good and bad sides of phone use. 
• Share your family’s values and rules. 
• Start early and have small talks often.  Small conversations build trust. 

Tools like ScreenSanity’s values exercise and the Wait Until 8th pledge can help guide these talks. 

Peer pressure and social media 

Kids often feel left out if they don’t have a phone and their friends do. Social media makes this worse by showing what others are doing. Many kids start asking for phones around age 11 because they feel like they’re missing out. But – you know what is best for your child and your family. Explain your thoughts and have an open conversation with your child, instead of a simple “no.” 

Final advice 

If you remember one thing, let it be this: Start early, talk often and lead with values. 

Talk about how screens fit into your family life. Discuss what kind of content is healthy and what isn’t. Build trust before giving your child a phone. Use contracts, worksheets and regular conversations to guide them — not just control them.