Shopping lists, family gatherings, expensive toys and busy, busy
schedules all can add up to a very stressful holiday season. And while
adults may be used to the added pressures of the holidays, children
feel it too and should not be overlooked.
"Children are generally a good barometer of what is going on around
them," says Dr. Ed Christopherson, behavioral psychologist at The
Children’s Mercy Hospital. "If the adults are calm, they will be calm.
If the adults are harried, irritable and frustrated, children pick up
on that."
There are a number of reasons children suffer holiday stress:
They are often dragged along to crowded, noisy shopping centers
which can be confusing. Often, the pushing and bickering of
overworked,
stressed-out adults give children a mixed message about the "holiday
spirit."
Bombarded with advertising, children can begin to feel deprived if
they do not have all the toys they hear about. Comparing their gifts
to
those of other children can also cause some grief.
During the holidays, relatives crowd into one household and
attempt
to enjoy the occasion. However, they are not always successful and the
holidays can be filled with anxiety and open hostility. Even when the
children are not directly involved, they are quick to pick up on the
tension that adults display.
Both adults and children can build unrealistic expectations for
the
holidays. Adults may shower children with gifts and then expect
children to be openly grateful. It can be very frustrating to spend a
lot of time and money on the perfect gift only to have the child
prefer
to play with the wrapping paper it came in.
To make the holidays more fulfilling for the whole family,
Children’s Mercy has put together some tips for reducing holiday
stress:
Consider doing your holiday shopping without your children.
Spend time with your children baking cookies, reading holiday
books
or making decorations. Separate activities into stages: If children
get
bored with a project, let them walk away. Return to it later when the
child is interested.
Kids are not impressed with your overspending on their gifts. They
have an idea of how much you can afford. When you overspend it makes
them nervous.
Remind your children that the spirit of the holidays has nothing
to
do with the amount spent on gifts. One option is to have them make
coupon books that include free services like doing the dishes, taking
out the trash or getting the mail.
When family or friends gather, parents still have to spend time
with and attention on their children. Children don’t appreciate that
you haven’t seen your relatives or friends in a long time. The
children
need you. So plan to spend time with them, or don’t bring them along
for the visit.
Try to balance your own expectations for the holidays. There’s no
way an over-hyped holiday can live up to everyone’s expectations.
The holidays are advertised as a happy time of year. Remembering these
tips can help your family have a relaxed and enjoyable holiday season.
