Click here to listen to this
column
For many families, who find themselves harried by the hustle and
bustle
of the holidays — not to mention ordinary day-to-day life — this is a
good opportunity to implement a permanent time of thanks and sharing
in
the house. It will be something that can pay many benefits.
"Thankful Time" is a technique designed to help raise self-esteem. It
is a cognitive behavioral technique in which parents focus on what
they
appreciate about their child and family on a regular basis. An
attitude
of gratitude helps us develop a health relationship with one another.
This sense of appreciation can help build the relationship for the
family and can increase communication throughout the family.
"This program is designed to help the family appreciate each other
more
and help build self-esteem," says Dave Bennett, PhD, clinical
psychologist at Children's Mercy Hospitals and Clinics.
Here are some general guidelines to follow:
- Tell your child what you appreciate about him or her.
- Be totally positive.
- Ask your child what she is thankful for. Younger children are
possibly going to focus on material possessions. But through daily
intervention, your child's values like honesty, respect,
responsibility
and appreciation should change.
- Don't criticize any of the thankful statements your child comes up
with.
- This procedure is specifically designed around bedtime since that
is the last contact your child has with you for several hours and will
make a lasting impression.
- Try to incorporate this in your daily life. These attitudes may
make a difference in the family's happiness.
This process is valuable because children, as well as adults often
repeat in their heads what they have recently heard in their
environment. If a child is hearing a large number of negatives
comments, he or she will likely be repeating these comments to himself
or herself later. On the other hand, if the child is hearing what his
world appreciates about him, the child will repeat this to himself and
consequently feel much better.
These tips and healthy communication should help everyone in the
family express gratitude toward each other. Remember to be patient and
accept whatever your children say they are thankful for. As children
get older, their values and attitudes will change.
