Coping Tips
Coping with the Health Care Experience
Be honest and talk with your
child about what to expect. Remember that children have active
imaginations and if they do not have enough information, they will
make up a story to fill in the gaps.
Encourage your child to express his/her feelings about his/her
health care experience. This can be done in a safe way by writing a
story, engaging in pretend play or drawing a picture.
Being there with your child is a great source of comfort for
him/her.
Provide physical touch to your child to help him/her feel calm,
relaxed, and secure. Examples of physical touch include swaddling
and rocking a baby and stroking and cuddling children of any
age.
Bring special and familiar objects from home to the hospital
(for example, photos of the family/pets, favorite toys, stuffed
animals, a pillow, etc.).
Allow your child to have choices and feel in control when
possible. Allow your child to choose what to wear, what activity to
do, what movie to watch or music to listen to, etc.
Praise your child for what he/she is doing well. For example, if
your child is holding still during a procedure, tell him/her what a
good job he/she is doing.
Let your child know that is it okay to cry. Crying is a good way
for some children to cope.
Gather information from your child's doctor and the health care
team. Write down questions you want to ask the doctor or nurse.
If your child is hospitalized:
- Spend time with your child, but take time for yourself to eat,
sleep and relax.
- Remember to let your child know when you are leaving the
hospital and when you are coming back to the hospital.
- Help your child have a normal daily routine. Set limits for
your child even at the hospital. Avoid too many gifts.
Helping Your Child Cope with Medical
Tests
During your child's medical care, your child may have medical
tests and procedures that they do not know much about.
Often with support from you, your child's nurse, and/or a Child
Life Specialist, these tests and procedures can be less stressful
for your child. These ideas can be used during most procedures
including blood draws, IV starts, and taking your child's
temperature or blood pressure. Please feel welcome to bring items
from home that are comforting to your child, such as a blanket,
pacifier, stuffed animal or favorite toy.
Infants (0-2 years)
Distraction:
- Use items such as bubbles, pop-up toys, light
up toys and toys with different sounds.
- Talk to your child, play peek-a-boo and sing to your
child.
Relaxation:
- Play soft music, use gentle touch and massage, and hold your
child in your arms or lap when possible during procedures.
Preparation:
- Show the procedure to your child on a stuffed animal or doll
before the procedure is done to your child. For example, take a
teddy bear's blood pressure before your child's blood pressure is
taken.
Preschoolers (2-5 years)
Distraction:
- Help your child blow bubbles, sing a song, look at a book, or
play with a toy.
Relaxation:
- Calm your child by telling stories, talking
about a favorite activity, listening to music, dimming the lights,
and holding your child on your lap or in your arms.
Preparation:
- Preschool-aged children see themselves as the cause of all
events. Reassure your child that he/she did nothing to "cause" the
illness or injury, and that "pokes" or painful procedures are not a
punishment for bad behavior.
- Provide your child with truthful, simple explanations of what
is going to happen, so that he/she does not misunderstand or have
unrealistic fears of the procedure.
- Photo-teaching books. The Child Life Department has
books made just for children and for their level of understanding.
These teaching books include radiology (photos of CT and MRI) and
surgery (photos of the operating room).
- Visual aids. Child Life Specialists and/or other
medical staff can help to show your child pretend and/or actual
medical equipment. This allows your child to touch and explore the
equipment before it is used for a procedure.
Support:
- Sticker/incentive charts. These charts help create a routine
for getting "pokes" or medical procedures that can happen often
during your child's hospital stay.
- Give your child appropriate choices. Teach him/her that there
is no choice about having some medical tests, but there are choices
during the medical test. Your child may be able to choose whether
to sit up or lie down during a procedure, whether to hold your
hand, what to look at, or what to do after the procedure.
School Age (5-12 years)
Distraction:
- Give your child something to focus on such as books (Look and
Find, I Spy, Lift the Flap), music (headphones, favorite CD), video
games or talking.
Relaxation:
- Have your child do deep breathing-using bubbles or breathing in
a pattern. ("Breath in through your nose for five seconds, then
breath out through your mouth for five seconds").
Preparation:
- Truthfully tell your child what is going to happen. School-age
children may have a lot of questions and may want to know details
about a procedure, illness or injury.
- Photo teaching books. The Child Life Department has
books made just for children and for their level of understanding.
These teaching books include radiology (photos of CT and MRI) and
surgery (photos of the operating room).
- Visual aids. Child Life Specialists and/or other
medical staff can help to show your child pretend and/or actual
medical equipment. This allows your child to touch and explore the
equipment before it is used for a procedure.
Support:
- Encourage your child to ask questions and express feelings
about the hospital, an illness or an injury. Answer questions
honestly and help your child work through his/her feelings.
- Talk about your child's feelings. Reassure your child that it's
OK to feel mad, sad, or confused. Ask your child, "What can I do to
make today better for you?"
Adolescents (12 years and up)
Distraction:
- Many teenagers like to have something to do during medical
procedures such as video games, I Spy books or talking to a
parent.
Relaxation:
- Help your teen relax by using music, deep breathing, and/or
imagining a favorite place or activity.
Preparation:
- Tell your teen the reason for procedures and describe exactly
what is going to happen.
- Allow your teen to be involved in his/her care and
decisions.
Support:
- Encourage your teen to keep in contact with friends and other
teenagers.
- Even though teens are becoming more independent, they still
need you to continue to support them. Remember to talk to your teen
often and offer your help, guidance and encouragement.
Helping Siblings Cope with the Health Care
Experience
Siblings often have many different feelings when a brother or
sister is receiving medical care. Each sibling may react
differently to their brother's or sister's illness or injury. Some
common reactions siblings may have include:
- Guilt-siblings may feel that they are to blame for their
brother or sister being in the hospital or being sick. They may
think that something they did or said caused the illness/injury to
happen.
- Fear - siblings may worry that their brother's or sister's
illness or injury will happen to them.
- Jealousy - siblings may feel left out when the ill/injured
child receives more care and attention from other family
members.
- Anger - siblings may be angry or upset about the changes
at home and in their normal daily routine that the illness/injury
has created.
- Neglect - siblings may feel that their parent/guardian no
longer loves or cares for them when more time is spent with the
ill/injured child.
You know your children best and how they cope with change.
Decide how much information you want to share with them.
What siblings may be imagining about their brother or sister
could be much scarier than the truth. Be open, be honest and allow
siblings to ask questions.
Before a sister or brother visits the hospital for the first
time, make sure the sibling understands what the hospital is and
what the nurses and doctors do. Explain some of the medical
equipment that they will see in a way that they can understand. A
Child Life Specialist can help to do this and can help make the
visit more comfortable. Children's storybooks about the hospital
are also helpful.
When siblings are unable to visit the hospital, they can keep in
touch with their brother or sister by sending drawings, letters,
photos and home videos.
Keep a normal routine as much as possible. Encourage siblings to
go to school and take part in normal activities. Spend time
together away from the hospital.
Preparing Your Child for the Hospital
Prepare yourself first. Ask your
child's doctor any questions or concerns you have regarding
hospitalization. By obtaining accurate information you will be able
to better prepare your child.
You know your child best, so talk with
them about the hospital in terms they will understand and that are
non-threatening.
Offer your child honest and
developmentally-appropriate information.
Explain to your child why they are
coming to the hospital and what will happen while they are here.
Younger children should be told about hospitalizations no more than
three days before they are to occur whereas older school age
children or adolescents can be told up to a few weeks before.
Read books about going to the hospital.
These books can be found at your local library.
Play is an excellent way to prepare
your child for the hospital. Provide your child with medical
equipment (play medical kit for younger children) so they can
become familiar with these items. They can use the medical
equipment on a stuffed animal or doll. As they are interacting with
the materials ask them questions about how they feel about the
equipment so you can clear up any misconceptions.
Reassure your child. Make sure they
know that being in the hospital is not a punishment and everyone is
there to help them.
Help your child express his or her
feelings, whether it be talking about what is going on or answering
questions.
What to Bring to the Hospital for an Overnight Stay
- Favorite blanket or pillow
- Stuffed animal
- Special pictures of family and friends
- Special toy, game or videos
- Pacifier
- Toothbrush and toothpaste
- Pajamas, robe and slippers
- Books or magazines
